BANDWIDTH: A Popular Culture Electronic Magazine ©2000

Random Acts of Surfing

DistantCorners.com

By: Jon Minners

     DistantCorners.com is not up to par with our previous RAS features, but it does have some major Flaws that left me upset and constantly frustrated. In the case of DistantCorners.com, sometimes too much is not a good thing. Some times it is a big pain in the ass.

     From the opening page, things look really cool. I was rather upset, though, that the damn site was taking so long to download. When I surf the web, I want to surf the web, not mull through it. This thing took forever, but when it did load up, I was highly intrigued by it all. The page starts up with music playing in the background, and gives me an opportunity to read some wacked out news. Whether all the news is true or not is up to you, but since many of the items seemed true, I couldn't figure it out. One headline read, Nine Dead, 130 injured in Dutch Café Fire and another read UFO in Serial Killer's Old Haunt. Weird stuff and there was wacked out news dealing with entertainment, disasters, UFOs, science, obituaries, the Internet and a section called Oddly Enough. This was one of the really cool parts of this site.

     The other really cool part came at Media Grande, where you can get all the info about current, old and upcoming movies coming to the screen, video, DVD, and television. You can even go to the cranky critic page and see reviews about many of our favorite and least favorite flicks. There is even a site called Between the Cracks, and learn about movies you never knew existed. This is a B-movie watcher's dream come true. In all honesty, the B-movie section is the best thing this site has to offer.

     After that, everything else gets a little choppy. The game section contains games that are hard to control and really not fun to play. Brain Strain is a Pac-Man type game that is nowhere near as good as Pac-Man. Avenger has a Power Puff Girls feel to it, in terms of animation, and plays like Defender. Again, this game was pretty lame and nothing like its predecessor. Another game, Freakout, is like Breakout and is the only game I had some fun with. I played this one a few times before growing bored and moving on. The other game didn't even load at all, and was just taking too long. I didn't even bother trying to see what it was about.

     Another section known as the Mausoleum is supposed to be a place you can look at and enjoy various items from those strange movies we grew up watching. I wouldn't know though, because I was not about to wait forever and a day for the damn thing to load. There is an area where you can buy really cool movies, but why not just go to Amazon.com? If you are looking for movies to buy, this site is not worth your patronage.

     Finally, the only other really cool reason to visit this site is the animation section, which contains a Blair Witch short that was not entirely worth downloading, but good for one look. The best part of this section is an animated tale called Bad Vlad, based on Vlad the Impaler. This guy kicks ass and spills blood, but the action is often inundated with nudity and violence, so kids should stay away. You hear that parents! Kids should stay away, and if I were you, I would look around, click on the link to this animated show, check out the news and stay away from everything else, because in all honesty, this site sucks donkey shit.

     The site has way too much animation, plug-ins, flashy things and music for it to work on all browsers in the right way. Things download way too slow for the average Internet user to enjoy. Maybe the people here decided to keep their site for the select few, but I propose that www.distantconers.com should stay in the distant corner away from everything you hold dear, like good sites and fun things. That will be all. You may continue to surf the web in peace.

     Send your comments and questions about this article to JMinners@ybfree.com.