Belles in Monica

      I thought I heard it all. Hip Hop from Europe? I was very interested in hearing what the UK had to offer. Unfortunately my first experience has been soured by Belles in Monica, a band who doesn't seem to have the talent to hang, let alone with the big dogs of rap. My partner tells me that BANDWIDTH is all about serving up constructive criticism, so instead of ripping the band apart, I will try to help the poor chaps.

      The CD I heard contained eight songs. Actually, it was more like four songs done twice each, remixed by several DJs. The problem I had with the tracks on the CD was not with the remixes; the background beats were actually pretty stimulating and entertaining. The problem I had was with the rappers, they tried to sound like thugs, but they were not convincing. The raspy voice of the lead rapper was cool, but the words coming out of his mouth were not. He did mention Michael Myers in the song What D'Ya Need, and that was cool, but read this rap and let me know what you think:
Bang, there goes another Idiot/Who cares about a poor excuse of a man/and the human race is an also ran

      Bootleg. In other words the rap was WEAK! It made little sense to me and was choppy at best.

      Belles in Monica sound like they are in the wrong genre. The group's sound seems more appropriate for a dance track rather than rap. I can picture them going Shhhh...Be Quiet or something like that. They are not hard enough to be rappers and they don't really spit out any memorable lines worth repeating.

      Now, there are a few moments when Belles in Monica attempted to shine. Meltdown was probably their best song; there was really cool eerie music in the background and then some jazzy beats in another version. Once again, Belles messes things up by saying Sitting tight in my crow's nest, and then ruin it with a line that a five-year old could have came up with. He followed that cool line up with, where I am at my best. Please. That is lame. However the band makes up for it with a fast rhyme and a cool chorus.

      Now that was pretty cool, but nowhere else do they sound this way. Belles in Monica appeared to be just spewing out rhyme with no reason. They are not in the category of Eminem or Jay-Z. They are not even near the status of underground legend, Cage. This band is in a category all theirs- Directionless Rap. That is about the only criticism I can give. Find direction, because after listening to this CD, the only direction I am following is my finger's to the eject button.

      Send your comments and questions about this article to Jminners@ybfree.com.

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