When I heard the characters of the hit 80s series GI Joe was returning to the small screen in a 44-minute movie on Cartoon Network and on DVD I can't tell you how pumped I was. My favorite cartoon was about to come back better than ever, with CGI graphics that would truly bring our favorite heroes and villains to life.
A Cobra spy has infiltrated the GI Joe ranks and has stolen a new weapon capable of mass destruction. Now the Joe team must go and get it back! Going directly into the heart of the Cobra mountain fortress. Basically, the commercial promised classic all out action and a climactic battle between Snake-Eyes and his ninja brother Storm Shadow. Oh, yeah it sounds good-in words. I should have known something was wrong when the voice over guy stated that the movie would bring an exciting new adventure for a whole new generation of fans to enjoy…rewind…for a whole new generation of fans to enjoy. Mistake, numero uno!
When GI Joe came back, who went out and bought the comic? The answer includes the new generation of fans, but for the most part, it was the older generation of X and Y fans who loved the series as kids and came back to enjoy a comic that had grown up with them. The people who made the legacy of the 30-minute commercial an inseparable part of American culture!
Well enough of my good ol' days babbling-onto the show. All I am going to say is Beachhead talked like a beach bum! The Beachhead of old and the one in the comics is a tougher than nails drill sergeant-type, not Michelangelo of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Even the villains were jokes. Dr. Mindbender sounded like a punk kid trying to play with the older crowd. Cobra Commander's voice is similar to that of the old show, but he is supposed to be a leader of a terrorist organization, and yet he sounds like he is trying out for a spot on Comedy Central. Zartan is nowhere near the menacing, calculating, shape shifting villain he used to be. In fact, only the Battle Android Troopers, Storm Shadow and the mute Snake-Eyes seem to fit their roles. It is just a complete shame that Larry Hama could not get his own characters right and treated this like a kids show instead of gearing it for the adults who were looking forward to seeing their show return with some slightly more mature themes. Put in on Adult Swim for God's sake.
The only positives about this effort were the animation and the nods to the old show, and comic book series. The animation was tremendous it really made the action figures truly come to life. The scene with the BATS going through the fire seemed to come right out of a Terminator movie and that was cool. I also think the fight scenes between Snake-Eyes and Storm Shadow flowed smoothly, were drawn fluidly and written in a dramatically, making it perhaps one of the best fight scenes in any animated series I have seen.
I also liked how Duke seemed close to Scarlett (cartoon), but she also seemed close to Snake-Eyes (comic) and how Shipwreck impersonated Cobra Commander as he did during the series hey day. Ok, I will give this fiasco one more positive, it had a pretty banging soundtrack with new twists on an old theme was also a welcome addition.
In the end, the negatives far outweigh the good, but with another movie planned; Valor vs. Venom, let's hope they learn from their mistakes and present us with something everyone can enjoy like the original mini series released by Rhino Home Video on DVD or hopefully the newly announced live action movie that will be developed by Lorenzo di Bonaventura. GI Joe is a classic, no a legend. Don't let the legend die, but don't let it live on like this, either. Maybe this show was all just an evil plot by Cobra to truly rot our minds. Bastards!!!
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