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The Haunted Lantern

Distributed by: Central Park Media and Aisan Pulp Cinema
Genere:Horror
Rating:Unrated. Contains Violence. Some Sexual Situations. Parental discretion advised.
Reviewed By: Jon Minners
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     There Cover of the Haunted Lantern Copyright Central Park Media/Asian Pulp Cinemaare just some movies that you blindly stare at, knowing the movie is bad, but for some reason holds your interest, despite the Mystery Science Theatre wisecracks you make while watching it. The Haunted Lantern is just that kind of movie; a horror flick without the scares. It's a movie with some interesting ideas, but an ending that cheapens the whole film. The Haunted Lantern is one of those films that is worth the watch, but for all the wrong reasons you watch a movie for.

     Shinzaburo is living a nightmare. He dreams that an abandoned lover commits suicide, and her body vanishes in a supernatural spray of blood. However, his dreams become reality when he meets the woman of his dreams, but ends up engaged to her sister. Both sisters love Shinzaburo, but rather than hurting each other over him, they kill themselves. Shinzaburo isn't out of the woods yet, as the two sisters come back to haunt Shinzaburo. Our hero of this story doesn't see their grotesque nature and ends up doing the nasty (literally) with the girl he has always loved.

     However, after freaky sex, Shinzaburo dies a each time. His friend and a Shinto Priest try to protect Shinzaburo, who cannot see what is happening to him. The two forlone sisters don't have much time left on the Earth, and must work fast in order to kill Shinzaburo. And they will do anything to accomplish their mission, even if it means killing Shinzaburo's best friend, who isn't really a nice guy to begin with.

     This film contains a lot of blood, hardly any fighting and much talk about forever love. The horror part is missing. The thought of sex with a hideous spirit is the only scary part. The girls aren't really that scary though. The special effects are kind of bootleg, as if I tied a rope to a toy ship, dragged it past the screen and pretended it was a George Lucas masterpiece. I guess that was the beauty of the film. Simplistic storytelling without all the state-of-the-art blue screening that often gets in the way ('cough' Star Wars I 'cough"). I mean, the story of a woman coming back to be with her man even after her death, does have a cool romantic feel to it. The theme kept me into the story throughout the film and I actually looked forward to a cool battle of wits that would end the story on a great note. The end came and I was so disappointed as the rest of the film seemed pointless because of it. Needless to say I didn't feel so guilty cracking jokes as the film went on.

     Still, I did enjoy the film. I liked the stuff about Samurai and I enjoyed the medieval Japanese historic elements. The plot meant well, but the ending killed it. The Haunted Lantern was still a fun flick to watch with friends and make a little fun. A classic Japanese B-movie. What, you thought all of them were grade A?

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